Ode to Covert Narcissists

Thought this was the perfect theme song   I Told You I Was Mean

Covert Narcissism

It’s rough if you fall into the clutches of one of these people, because unlike overt narcissists, they will be easy to like.  You’ll think they are the sweetest most caring person you’ve ever met, while they subtly drop hints that they aren’t what they seem.   This is all just part of their game.

It’s true that my own emotional scars are what drew me to this person so strongly, and unlike what the article says, I thought this person was very empathetic. That’s the image she wanted to project because that’s who she was looking for.    They prey on empathetic people.   This person seemed very loving and caring, but always hinted she could hurt people…which no one would ever believe because of the outward behavior. This person fooled everyone she came in contact with, and most people will never know the truth.   Only people who get close to the covert narcissist find out what a nightmare they really are.

I was the mirror for this person.  I was the narcissistic supply, and it was heartbreaking, maddening,  and painful.  Because of the “grooming” that goes along with the game, it makes it very hard to accept what the person truly is. When you  do something to offend them, and it can be the slightest thing, like disagreeing with them on something you think insignificant, they will start to play games.  They’ll  give you the silent treatment, say horrible things to you, but hint they still care about you.  They’ll tell you how much you mean to them,  while subtly insulting you at the same time.  By the time you realize something is very wrong, it’s too late, because you are already emotionally attached to this person.

For me this was a friendship and thankfully not a romantic  relationship, but  I did love the person she projected very much.  She made sure of that.   I’m usually very perceptive with people,  so I’m still a bit floored that this person fooled me.  They can fool people  because covert narcs are very perceptive as well.  They know your weaknesses, your fears,  your hopes and dreams, and they are excellent at getting into your head.   They will make you think you are to blame for everything, and you end up questioning yourself, questioning your sanity.

I’m not sure how to tell you to avoid these people.  One clue is they tend to not have close friends, or many people in their lives.   Acquaintances will love them, and sing their praises, but they won’t have real friends, they can’t.   They are expert emotional manipulators and they really have no conscience. You don’t see that part till it’s too late .  All I can say is that if you find yourself very drawn to someone, but a little voice inside tells you something isn’t right….LISTEN TO IT!!   You won’t want to, you’ll want to believe all the sweet  lies they tell you. Even when you realize they are lies, you’ll want to help them, but you can’t.   So if you ever have these feelings, as hard as it may be, distance yourself immediately.  If you don’t you’ll be on an emotional rollercoaster for quite a long time.

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2 Responses to Ode to Covert Narcissists

  1. purringkat13 says:

    It’s like you are writing my life’s story at times. ❤

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